"The internet is alot like shooting a gun, just point, click, and then shit your pants waiting for the cops to arrive"

So there I was walking down the street when I see this ape run up to me and kick me in the nads.

I really hope you watched this because its like the funniest thing Ive ever seen.

Its time for my highlights of the week; Todays highlights brought to you by the number "1" and the letter "me"

I kicked peanut kid in the head, and he fell backwards into mound of macadamians.

I shot a lion in the face

I got the special from hong's bakery ham & sandwich

I passed a physics sac

Went to the football with me mates, suck it shaun!

I asked Mark Woods what the hell are you looking at

I laughed at seth when he mentioned Euro-vision

Seth: "Say Brendan you didnt by any chance happen to watch the Euro-vision on the weekend Me: NO!! hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaha!!!!

Ross flipping me the bird, then saying "oh, you can leave now."

I grew an inward beard

"SUCK IT MARK I HAVE NOODLES"

I bought a Ham Radio and started broadcasting fake news over people's regular radio.

I went on a beer run with George Bush, we got lost and some ended up at Guantanamo bay

I went hunting with Dick Cheney, I'm still missing part of my ear

Had a picnic on an artillery testing range

The apes returned from behind the back of the oval, riding Mopeds and swing flaming maces

Like god punching a deer, so are the days of our lives

Best thing I ever Tim say "It was like god punching a deer" the very thought of an almighty god like figure punching a sweet innocent deer is too much.

"I dont even own A gun, let alone several guns to sufficiently fill an entire rack"

Hammed it up, big time

Marty took on Ghandi in a street fight. It was kind of one sided, not because Ghandi is all about peace and down right pacifist, no. Its because he was DEAD.

I wrote some lyrics down for a song when I was baked. It went something like; Dee derp dee-derp, dee-dippity derp dee dumb"

Played cards against a minator, "no fair how was I suppose to read that poker face, he's got a fuckin' bull head"

Im gonna use my aerospace engineering skills to make a jet plane powered by Bio-fuel, which means it pretty much runs on bull-shit.

I beat the absolute shit out of an old man.

I became master of my of my own domain, only to be usurped by my own right hand man.

Ran through federation square with nothing but a saucepan on my head, screaming "The Russians are trying to steal my thoughts!!"

Started a roller derby in the year 12 corridor

Told Ms Grant to her face that she's nothing but a filthy FUCK. well not as much to her face as, a letter, and I didnt much use those words as much as I drew a stick figure picture of her with stink lines coming out.

I spent 4 hours baking a cake then dropped it off an over-pass, the worst part about it was that it was an accident. I was walking with my cake then tripped, and the cake went over the side. I didnt even get to see it land. I looked down just to see pissed off farmer holding a pitch-fork with cake all over his wind-sheild.

I roasted some chest-nuts

Played Silent Hill (best game).

Changed Adeliade's name to Radeliade, then changed Canberra's name to "Canberra sucks"

Jacob and I played battle ships in physics.

I wrote this

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