"The internet is alot like shooting a gun, just point, click, and then shit your pants waiting for the cops to arrive"

So there I was walking down the street when I see this ape run up to me and kick me in the nads.

I really hope you watched this because its like the funniest thing Ive ever seen.

Its time for my highlights of the week; Todays highlights brought to you by the number "1" and the letter "me"

I kicked peanut kid in the head, and he fell backwards into mound of macadamians.

I shot a lion in the face

I got the special from hong's bakery ham & sandwich

I passed a physics sac

Went to the football with me mates, suck it shaun!

I asked Mark Woods what the hell are you looking at

I laughed at seth when he mentioned Euro-vision

Seth: "Say Brendan you didnt by any chance happen to watch the Euro-vision on the weekend Me: NO!! hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaha!!!!

Ross flipping me the bird, then saying "oh, you can leave now."

I grew an inward beard

"SUCK IT MARK I HAVE NOODLES"

I bought a Ham Radio and started broadcasting fake news over people's regular radio.

I went on a beer run with George Bush, we got lost and some ended up at Guantanamo bay

I went hunting with Dick Cheney, I'm still missing part of my ear

Had a picnic on an artillery testing range

The apes returned from behind the back of the oval, riding Mopeds and swing flaming maces

Like god punching a deer, so are the days of our lives

Best thing I ever Tim say "It was like god punching a deer" the very thought of an almighty god like figure punching a sweet innocent deer is too much.

"I dont even own A gun, let alone several guns to sufficiently fill an entire rack"

Hammed it up, big time

Marty took on Ghandi in a street fight. It was kind of one sided, not because Ghandi is all about peace and down right pacifist, no. Its because he was DEAD.

I wrote some lyrics down for a song when I was baked. It went something like; Dee derp dee-derp, dee-dippity derp dee dumb"

Played cards against a minator, "no fair how was I suppose to read that poker face, he's got a fuckin' bull head"

Im gonna use my aerospace engineering skills to make a jet plane powered by Bio-fuel, which means it pretty much runs on bull-shit.

I beat the absolute shit out of an old man.

I became master of my of my own domain, only to be usurped by my own right hand man.

Ran through federation square with nothing but a saucepan on my head, screaming "The Russians are trying to steal my thoughts!!"

Started a roller derby in the year 12 corridor

Told Ms Grant to her face that she's nothing but a filthy FUCK. well not as much to her face as, a letter, and I didnt much use those words as much as I drew a stick figure picture of her with stink lines coming out.

I spent 4 hours baking a cake then dropped it off an over-pass, the worst part about it was that it was an accident. I was walking with my cake then tripped, and the cake went over the side. I didnt even get to see it land. I looked down just to see pissed off farmer holding a pitch-fork with cake all over his wind-sheild.

I roasted some chest-nuts

Played Silent Hill (best game).

Changed Adeliade's name to Radeliade, then changed Canberra's name to "Canberra sucks"

Jacob and I played battle ships in physics.

I wrote this

Song of the week Motion Picture Soundtrack// Radiohead// Kid A More Stephen Colbert videos and Jon Stewart Videos

Ummmmm.... yeah?

ahhh... in panic I forget it, in despair I need it, in my mind I keep it, and in death I have it.. Yeah, I just got home from seeing Iron man, it was alright *shaking palm like mental patient* I thought it would have more action and less dialog. So anyway I get home and my mum is watching fucking Gilmore Girls on my PS2, ahhh the rage, just thinking of that show shribbles my testes. So I thought to myself "what the fuck are you gonna do now you fucking cunt?" I think things I'd never say. My fucking computer keeps saying it's being violated, and there's viruses n' shit, and I keep saying continue unprotected, *insert condom joke.* So I've decided to go on my blog and have a bit of a rant about shit that is annoying me. Like school, getting tests in physics about stuff we never learned, fucking useless English shit, prompting questions like "what is reality" who gives a fuck!! What were the VCAA thinking of when they chose reality for topic, I bet they were all like, " let's see if they can write something about this." Nothing is as simple as could be, everyone finds this out the hard way in life, unless your some rich cunt. There was something else I wanted to rant about... oh yeah The Government, I know this is sort of a touchy subject, so you may want to cover your ears as you read this. The mistreatment of Tibet has gone on for too long, make that way way way too much * holding arms really far apart.* The UN should be the ones to resolve this issue, let alone even discuss it... I'm running low on rage, so I'm gonna make a list of things that rage me, while I'm still ticked.

• Body boards, either use a surfboard or don't.
• Anti virus updates
• Humanitarians, that word is way too long
• Soup in a can
• Big Brother, oh my freaking fucking god almighty god. I really wish that show would cancel due to massive fire in which everyone dies.
• The fact that I cant play piano
• Trying to do a double back flip off an over pass and landing in a conveniently placed moving ute with a mattress in the back, to only succeed with ONE flip. (Thats fucking amateur)
• Having some angry kid with a kite follow me and point at me from outside, in the rain, and with the look of pure unadulterated rage.
• Spontaneous combustion, just when you think its over, it flares up again.
• The blood bank. That cookie sucked, I want my blood back!
• Having people burst into tears after I tell them what I think of them.
• Nerds with too much time
• Trying to think of stuff that makes me mad
• When people pay out resident evil
• The fact that laws apply to me
• Mimes, there is nothing funny about them, period.
• That kid down the street who keeps putting bear traps in my front yard, that fucking cunt.
• My english teacher telling me off for dropping too many "f-ing c-bombs" in my essays
• People who show up too school for no reason other to disrupt others from learning.
• When the paper boy keys my car
• People who talk loudly with phones, the person on the other end has their ear pressed against the speaker, you can talk at a normal tone.
• People who block my way on an escalator, it makes me so mad. It just makes me feel like throwing them over side.
• Gun restrictions. It makes me want to go on top of a clock tower, or maybe a bell tower and just start picking people off with my high powered rifle as they go by their day.

• I'll end it on that note

Song of the day: In the Kingdom #19// Sonic Youth// EVOL