If that don't put the shaz in shazam..

Is coolest a state of mind, or the state of somebody else's. Tom Arnolds out to get me. So is the channel seven news crew... Wait, who's that, the president? woah. Why are there lamas at my window. Woah, my shoes are talking and the walls are melting. Hell no Mr President, I dont want fries. Tom Arnold is a android sent from the future to destroy me, so I won't leak government secrets. I have no idea what these secrets are. Woah, the apes have gotten into my house... Woah, we have a kitchen. The apes are making drinks. The apes cannot talk, they communicate by grunting. Look in the fridge I say to one of the apes.... It just stares at me drooling. How bout some fruit I say to the ape... It stares at me, still, with a drop of drool lingering from its mouth. He then grunts sofetly, then unleashes a giant roar, no more like a scream. The ape clinches its fists, and starts drumming on its chest. Then one of the other apes runs up and smacks the ape in the face... All the other apes come running and make a huge circle around the ape-fight. I sigh to myself "so, like us." I go to sneak the back door, still looking at the apes as I open the door, but as I walked through the door something stopped me. It felt like I had just walked into a brick wall. I look infront of me to see Tom Arnold facing me with a machine gun, an M-16 to be exact. He aims the gun at me and says....."You will watch my show." Then I say "I'd soon rather die then watch it, besides its not on TV no more." He then stood there, his mouth slowly opened, untill it could be opened no more. He stands there with his mouth opened, no noise, no movements, just standing there. All of a sudden a pack of wild dogs come running out from behind him. "Holy sweet mary on a lama's back, eating cheese and macarooni!!!!" I yell as I see the dogs running at me. I slam the door in Tom Arnolds face, the door just bounces off his nose. "Christ on bike" I yell out, as I'm running the hell away from Tom Arnold and his crazy pack of savage dogs, that look like they have been starved and drooling like they have rabbies. I run through my house like a sprinter on steroids. I can still hear the dogs in the background... I get to the front door, and who but George Bush is standing there to greet... With a chainsaw. "Holy fishsticks" I yell, as George Bush stands there with a running chainsaw. He justs stands there going "zoom-zoom-zoom." So I push George Bush out of the way and start running. I eventually came to a large, red bricked wall, as if to come from nowhere.... Hmmmmm.... Who's idea was it to put a wall there anyway? Tom Arnold and his super dogs had me surrounded.... I stand with the cold bricks against my back. I then clinch my fist, and begin drumming my chest. Everything went quiet. I could then feel the ground rumbling, I look at the puddle on the ground, it was making ripples like nobody's bussiness. Then the bushes start shaking, followed by an army of apes charging out from behind the bushes and shrubs. The apes had some how acquired flame-throwers, and were spitting flames at the armies of dogs. Tom Arnold stood there as a sea of apes went over him, and left nothing but bones. Then one of the apes pins me to the ground and starts shaking by the collar....... I then wake up and my brother's shaking me asking if knew where his hair gel went.... What a twist

• S.O.D// The Ape chasing Remix// Yellow Pudding/// Our newest album ever..... This is the best song ever Jim, and its all thanks to you.