The Cheese Is Big, Really Big

35 reasons why the government is after me.

1. I found out what they really put in post stamp glue (Toad Mucus)
2. I found out about the government Conspiracy
3. I destroyed the dinosaurs
4. I found out that bill clinton's real name is Ashleigh
5. I took the white house hostage with only a hunting knife and some dental floss
6. I turned water into ....... DEATH!
7. I found out that George Bush has hemoroids (the hard way)
8. I Mooned the federal government
9. I kept ringing george bush and asking for 'tony' and 'steve'
10. I found out that they put sublimital messages in their adds
11. I found out what chocolate is made out of
12. I had a massive party and didn't invite them
13. I found out a disturbing secret about tic-tacs
14. I orderd 1500 magehrita pizzas to the white house and then the president said "what happened to the rest of this pizza. Its just cheese brbrbrbrrb"
15. I learnt how to fart the alphabet
16. I made a pair of stillts big enough to get on top of the white house
17. I stole the presidents chopper
18. I unleashed an angry baboon into the white house
19. I found out what they're really putting in our drinking water
20. I unleashed several more baboons into the white house
21. I picked up the president's dog and kicked off a roof
22. I found out where tooth paste comes from
23. I put tooth paste on the pridents hand, then tickled him in the face with a feather while he was sleeping
24. I discovered a breed of super soldiers in the basement of the white house
25. I ate the prisedental cheese
26. I called george bush senoir's wife 'babbs'
27. I found out that powdered milk is actually cheese gratings
28. I made my own dooms day device
29. I sat on the prisedents muffin
30. I have an imcriminating photo of george bush jr picking his nose
31. I rang up asking for Hitler
32. I discoverd a deadly secret behind Mcdonalds
33. I launched a bottle where the sun don't shine on george bush
34. I unvealed that george bush is transfering funds to have me 'whacked'
35. I know too much